I Remember

I Remember
Kay Rice

I remember your smile the first time I saw your face.
That devilish grin, took me back to a familiar place.
The spark in your eyes reminded me of a time
When life was so simple and a crush felt divine.

I remember the first time I saw your tears,
It was the first time you told me ‘No more fears’.
The sadness that caused your soul to cry for me,
Gave me the longing, the desire to be free.

I remember the first time you called me your doll.
The surprise that it caused me on that evening’s call.
The tenderness in the word that you spoke in one name,
Took away all my feelings of doubt and years of shame.

I remember the first time you held me, kissing my lips.
I can still feel the lightning rush from your fingertips.
That one single kiss gave my heart such a jolt,
I could feel my heart beat like a grand thunderbolt.

I remember the first time you lay down at my side,
My fears that day, ran so deep they were unable to hide.
Your gentle touch and your words, I soon fell asleep,
Cradled in your arms and your love so deep.

I remember the day when I saw your strength,
The tests and the measures you took to great length.
That was the day when you gave me your wings,
That was the day you taught me to sing.

I remember the day you got down on one knee,
When you looked up and you asked to marry me.
The love in your heart shown through your eyes,
The day I knew you would never say good-bye.

I remember each morning, through each day,
I hold in my heart each kiss, each word you say.
I know that today will be a memory in a flash,
I know that time with you always goes too fast.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
KAY RICE

And…

And…

Kay Rice
June 04, 2013

And in the silence, he came to me,
Kissed my lips and made me free.
Breaking a spell cast by fate,
Opened the doors, sealed by hate.
Lifting me up to walk by his side,
Facing life with eyes, open wide.

And under the blanket of the night,
He took my hand and taught me to fight.
Placing his heart in my crippled chest,
Taking my own, to heal and to rest.
Breathing into my lungs new air,
Healing scarred skin, naked and bare.

And the crippled, fragile soul he saved,
Stands here beside him, strong and brave.
No longer a shadow, that hides in fear,
No longer to cry, empty, frozen tears.
He kisses my lips, and pulls me in tight,
Every day is a battle, and together we fight.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
DO NOT USE WITHOUT WRITTEN CONSENT OF KAY RICE

Who I am (A Child’s Voice)

Who I am (A child’s voice)
Kay Rice

A childish voice yells, “I’m Batman Today”!
Dressed in pajamas and a sheet for a cape,
A serious pose, holds back his grin,
In HIS world, he’s the hero to all his friends.

A childish voice whispers “Today, I’m a pony”.
I gallop around in a field full of posies,
A happy-go-lucky clap, he mimics for hooves,
and a scarf tied to his jeans for a tail to swoosh.

A childish voice proclaims out loud “Today, I’m a rock-star”!
I sing and yell and I travel so far,
As he dances to the sound of his radio blaring,
and dreams of fans, his name they are yelling.

A childish voice cries out “Today, I am afraid”.
I don’t know what to be or what I have made,
I’m me, but who am I, deep down inside?
I’d like to find out, but today I’d much rather hide.

A young man steps forward, from dreams and school days,
All grown up from childish things, ready to make his own way,
A hero, a mustang, a rock star, he stands tall and with grace,
All his dreams have given him the courage to find his place.

 

Written for my wonderful blessing of a son, Jon.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
KAY RICE

Trees

Trees
by Mrs. Kay Rice

On a tall grassy hill so far away,
Two little trees softly did sway.
In the spring a warm and gentle breeze,
Waking up, from a long winter’s freeze.

Far from each other yet close at hand,
Reaching up from the new warm moist land.
Dancing together through each spring shower,
Each day growing as they began to flower.

Spring turns to summer as each little tree,
Reaches up higher as if trying to see.
The world around them so far and new,
Looking up into bright skies of blue.

Summer to Fall as green leaves turn to gold,
Listening to stories from birds they are told.
Of coming winters when cold winds blow,
And life goes to sleep in blankets of snow.

With the first snow flake the trees bow down,
To prepare for sleep under winters new gown.
Leaning over from their long winter’s nap,
Their branches together began to over lap.

Warmth once again, came to the hill far away,
Calling and waking the trees to a new day.
And as they slowly awoke, what did they find?
That in the cold their branches became entwined.

Now swaying together in wind and in rain,
Their branches grew stronger together again.
As if holding on to each other in sun and storm,
Silent vows given to up the wind and was sworn.

Spring flowers from one were pink and so bright,
The other bloomed flowers so large and pure white.
Branches entwined so one could not tell them a part,
Impossible to know where one ended and the other did start.

Spring turned to summer and then on to Fall,
By now their branches were so strong and so tall.
Lifting branches together reaching up to the sky,
Wrapped together they watched the seasons go by.

Seasons and years passed by as they grew,
Never cracking or falling as strong winds blew.
Their branches keep reaching to the sky up above,
Entwined forever, together, in eternal love.

Mrs. Kay L. Rice
3/12/2010
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

(A poem I wrote for my loving husband)

Finding Time

More than often I get questions and comments from friends and colleagues such as: “How do you find time to do everything you do?” or my favorite “Do you ever sleep?”

My morning and evening devotions have found their way to focus on this subject here lately. As a result, I’ve felt the urge to write about it.

Finding time, makes it sound like time is this object that is fleeting and always out of our reach, but in fact, its right there, in our hands at all times.  Time isn’t fleeting, its the choices that we make to cause it to fly away or be used productively.  Time, as well as money, are two things that in reality we have a choice on how to use them.  We can use them wisely, or we can waste them.  A wise person, saves and uses wisely a fool wastes them on fleeting things.

There is also a very big difference in resting and being lazy.  Resting is a refueling, lazy is a waste of resources.  Resting comes as a result of hard work and productivity and finding calm.  Being lazy, is relying on others and outside sources to provide for us.  Do you remember the old story of the Ant and the Grasshopper?  The grasshopper mocked the ant for working so hard in the hot summer months, he insisted on singing, playing and being “lazy”.  The Ant worked diligently to fill its home with food so it could survive the harsh winter to come.  The story has a harsh lesson in the end.  The Grasshopper starved, the ant survived.

Here are some of the ways that allow me to focus on what is truly important, I hope they will help you on your journey.

  1. Wake up early and be consistent throughout the week. rooster
  2.  Morning is very important; how you start it will be the direction of your day.  Because of this, I will slowly wake up.  Laying in bed until my brain isn’t fuzzy anymore and then start moving to get ready.
  3. Make your bed.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Making your bed each morning gives you a sense of accomplishment from the very beginning.
  4. Daily Devotions and prayer.  I start my day with a simple devotion time and prayer to ask for guidance and wisdom in the upcoming day.  I also give thanks for having another day and for my husband.
  5. Keep your clothes simple.  Plan the night before what you will be wearing the next day and know what you have to wear.  In short, don’t have a department store in your closet or most of it in the laundry basket.
  6. For those of us who must work outside of the home as well as at home, remember this always.  We work to live, not live to work.  Your worth is not measured by your job and career.  I make sure that my job (as a programmer in the Tech World) has specific hours.  I work 40 to 50 (if uncontrolled deadlines are needed) a week.  When I am at work, I am at work.  I also allow myself a lunch break, which normally I write or take a walk during good weather.  Breaks are very important for keeping the mind clear.  I also spend the first 10 minutes of every morning, organizing my day with the tasks for that day and moving them along as need be, utilizing an Agile methodology.
  7. For both home and work I have outlined in a journal of what my goals are for the day, nothing lofty, just what needs to be done.  Keep It Short & Simple.
  8. I keep track of what I spend or earn.  This helps me with my budgeting and keeps at the front of my mind to not waste funds.
  9. At home, I keep a strict rule that home is for home and family.  This includes preparing the pantry for winter from our garden and supplementing with items from local farmers.  This is how I am able to can fruits and vegetables in season and bake homemade breads and rolls.
  10. I do not stay “tied” to my phone or computer.  I have found that keeping a written bullet journal handy to keep track of my to-do-lists, ‘shopping’ lists, moods, favorite scriptures and other things is better than being “plugged in”.  This way I’m not distracted to waste time on other “apps”.  I also have found that “helpful” apps are really not helpful at all, in fact they waste time more than anything as you grow to having an obligation to them.
  11. Shopping:  Okay this is a touchy subject.  I know that that the grocery apps are becoming a huge thing now days.  But convenience creates its own demons.  Plan your grocery needs, take the time to go and get only, what is on your list.  You will save money and be more prepared.   Keep a rule that if you don’t have an item in between runs, you will agree to go without, period.  If it is a necessity, say yogurt, make sure you have it on your list to pick up on the grocery run.  Keep your runs to once every other week, maybe longer if you can.  The time and money saved continues to grow. Also, non grocery shopping apps suck you into spending more money and time then what you really need, they speak to your impulse voice.  Its amazing how much you can spend in this way.  UNPLUG.
  12. TV is not a priority.  In fact, for us, it’s rarely on with the exception of some news and maybe an old TV show now and then, even then if my husband and I are enjoying the television, I’m knitting, crocheting or sewing while watching.  We have also cut the cable cord.  This saves us over $100 a month, another frugal tip.  Getting rid of TV will save you a ton of time and a ton of stress.
  13. Understanding your needs versus your wants.  Being plugged into the world tends to make it very confusing on exactly what a want and a need really is.  Especially when the new car, vacation, food, clothing, personal ads are constantly talking to you, even if you say you don’t pay attention to them, they become that little voice saying you need this, you need this to be popular, to be better, to be wanted.  Turn them off.  You don’t NEED any of it.  By not cluttering your life and not spending more and more money on things (wants) the stress will start to melt away.
  14. We eat at home with basic ingredients.  I have heard the argument that it takes too much time to fix good meals at home.  Hogwash!  The time and money you spend driving, waiting, eating and driving home, not to mention the health effects on your body, you could have had a much better meal and not spend half the money and the time.  If you have a tight work schedule, then meal-prep on the weekends.  Plan ahead for the week with a schedule.  This will also help you save money.  Oh, and make your morning coffee at home don’t hit the drive-through.  The money you spend on a good coffee maker and a travel mug, is pennies compared to the monthly cost of that daily/multiple coffee shop run.
  15. Enjoy the moment.  Instead of worrying about what you need to do tomorrow.  Schedule your week so you can sit back and enjoy the moment with the ones you love.  Now, when I say schedule your week, this DOES NOT MEAN DOWN TO THE SECOND!  Keep your load light, make room to enjoy life as life comes to you.  Do NOT over schedule.  Especially, if you have children.  Do not schedule an event every night.  Set limits for you and for them.  Take in a board game, enjoy conversation, a walk, and do chores together.
  16. This one goes with not over scheduling your time.  If you can’t give it at home, then don’t give it away somewhere else.  What does this mean?  If you are too busy to cook for your family, don’t volunteer to bake for the bake-sale.  If you don’t have enough money to buy your kid’s school supplies, don’t go out with friends to dinner and or a bar.
  17. Pack your lunch and prepare your breakfast the night before.  This way there is no rush and no temptation to hit the fast food place on the way to where you are going.
  18. Tidy up before bed.  Make sure the dishes are done, items are put away.  When you take care of things as they arise, the job is not near as daunting.
  19. Now here is the big one:  REST.  Yes, REST.  Take some time to unwind, read a calming book or an evening devotion.  UNPLUG, do not pick up that phone or tablet before bed, it stimulates the brain.
  20. Go to bed “early”.  We try to be in bed between 9 and 9:30 pm each night, this means we easily obtain 7-8 hours of good sleep before we start all over again.  A good night’s sleep is important for your body to refuel and repair.  It’s directly tied into your mood, weight, stress levels and energy.  Get some good rest.

I know this really sounds like a lot, but it all falls into place easily.  I’ll be writing more about bullet journals in the future, but keeping these are a wonderful way to stay organized.  It also helps me to remember what I did several days back.

Enjoy, and until next time.

Mrs. Kay Lynn Rice

Christmas Cards

Bear with me with me on this little blog post.

I miss getting Christmas Cards.  Oh, I get plenty on social media, you know, the generic ones with snow and a dancing snowman.  What I miss is real, paper, delivered by the postman, Christmas Cards.  I miss birthday cards, letters and stuff in the mail other than bills and ‘junk’ mail.  I miss Carolers coming to the house and singing.  I miss singing traditional songs at Christmas.  In fact, here lately I cringe at some of the Christmas songs I hear on the radio.

carolers

I miss the celebration, the deliberation and the honesty behind all of the things now deemed old-fashioned or out-dated.  Perhaps I’m out-dated, don’t care, I am am who I am.   I admit I have fallen into the techno mentality myself, I’m working on a computer as I write this right now.  But what really hit me was when I sent a text to my husband, who was downstairs, last night as I was upstairs in my office.  REALLY???? NO!  At that moment I wanted to throw my cell phone out the window.   Honestly, I almost cried.  Why?  Because I consider myself very blessed to have a very close, honest and loving relationship with my husband, and the last thing I want is to put technology between us.

I woke up early this morning, with a lot on my heart and mind.  I spent extra time in prayer over a morning cup of coffee and I am almost finished with my Christmas Cards.  I sat this morning putting in a letter in each one to be sent to family and friends who I rarely hear from anymore, but still, it’s a Christmas Card and it will be delivered through the postal service and I hope it brings a smile.

Take the time to sit down and play a game WITH a person AT a table and enjoy each other’s company.  Take the time to write a letter and send a smile to someone.  Most of all, unplug.

Until Next Time,

Mrs. Kay L. Rice

The Secret to Happiness

There is one simple step that I have found that leads to happiness.  Acknowledge that happiness does not rely on a person, place, thing or even a circumstance.  It depends on your choice.  Yup, its that simple.  It all depends on how you look at everything, how you react to situations and people.

It seems more and more the ‘world’ pushes that happiness can only be gained by being tied to things, people, position and money.  Prestige and placement in life are preached to our children so heavily at a young age that it’s no wonder we are seeing so much depression and and stress in our youngins.  The constant flood of being plugged in is always screaming at us what the world says we have to be, have to do, have to go.  It’s time to turn it off.  School is important but college is not a necessity.  There is nothing wrong with having a career based on skill and talents, working with your hands or with the land.  Technology has its uses, but more often than not, it seems to have more misuses.

Here are some basic rules for embracing the now, for finding happiness.

  • Live well beneath your means.
  • Don’t give away what you can’t give at home.
  • Return everything you borrow.
  • Serve with your talents and your heart, not out of obligation or guilt.
  • Stop blaming other people for your bad choices.
  • Pray Daily (sometimes every second if need be).
  • Have daily walks and talk with God.
  • Admit it when you make a mistake.
  • Give unworn clothes to charity.
  • Give outsized clothes to charity.
  • Do something nice for a total stranger (and don’t post it on social media).
  • Listen more; talk less.
  • Find a reason to be outside.
  • Strive for excellence, but not perfection.
  • Be on time.
  • Don’t make excuses.
  • Organize your day in the morning.
  • Don’t argue or insist on being right or having the last word.
  • Be kind to unkind people.
  • Let someone ahead of you in line.
  • Take time to be alone with God.
  • Always incorporate good manners.
  • Don’t lie.
  • Be humble.
  • Realize and accept that life is not fair, but it is all in God’s plan.
  • Enjoy your time for rest and sleep.
  • Know when to keep your mouth shut.
  • Practice not criticizing others.
  • Turn the TV/Computer/phone off.
  • Learn from the past.
  • Live every day to its fullest.
  • Always give a kind word.
  • Make due with what you have.
  • Focus on the good, not the bad.

Happiness is how you view your life.  I like to tell people that every day is a good day as long as I wake up and my feet hit the floor and my face doesn’t.  I figure that leaves the rest of the day wide open for great things to happen.

Until Next Time,

Mrs. Kay L. Rice

 

Tears…

Blessed-are-those-that-mourn-by-StudioJRU

I’m going to get very real and raw this evening.  I am going to open up and share the tears behind my smiles, the ones that I work so hard to hide.

My greatest joy(s) have been the only that brought me heart wrenching sorrows.    On January 1, 2016, my greatest heartbreak happened, my first born son committed suicide.  He would have been 30.

For all that I have been through in my life, nothing has devastated me as much as that phone call telling my that my son was found dead.  No parent should ever get that call.  No parent should ever have to bury their child.  I remember feeling so numb and even after over a year it still feels like it isn’t real.  But it is.  I cry a lot.

Without getting into deep personal details, I will say that the only thing that saved me from darkness was faith.  I know my son is in God’s loving arms and that is what gives me comfort.  I know in my heart he is not suffering anymore.

I’ve heard others say they become angry at God when a child is taken away, whether from illness, crime or accident.  I suppose I was too.  But if anything it drew me closer to God.  My faith has grown stronger from all of this.  But more than anything it has created a desire, so strong, to help others that I can’t ignore it.  To let others know that they are not alone.  God is with us always, he is a very loving Father and he cries with us when we hurt and bad things happen.   It’s also helped me to understand that this living world is not our final home and I know I will see my son again, someday.  But in the meantime, I need to be an instrument of change in this world, there is so much to do.

It really doesn’t take much to change someone’s day, week, month, year, maybe their life.  Maybe that sandwich you give to a homeless person on the street gave them the energy to get to a place where they can heal and get help to help someone else.  Maybe, that smile and happy greeting you give someone at work prevented them from ending their life.  Maybe, just maybe, that hug you gave a child, helped them see hope in their dark world.  You don’t know until you begin to do God’s work by just being you.

And you know what, when you start doing things for others, your own clouds disappear. You heal.  Your heart may always feel “broken” but the funny thing is that we are continuously filled when we have cracks, because we always have more room to be filled up with better things.

I see my son in the eyes of others.  I never want them to feel alone, because they aren’t.

Just something to think of in today’s busy world.

Until Next Time,

Mrs. Kay L. Rice