Paths

I’ve been mulling this blog post over in my mind for several months now.  I knew what I wanted to focus on, what the message was and the purpose.  My obstacle was primarily fear.  That big thing of what other’s might think or presume or judge me on.   In an age where everyone is easily offended, but everyone has strong opinions, I do my best to NOT rock the boat.  I keep my dreams to myself, so to speak.

So, let me jump in and give you some background.  I have always been a nerd.  I love my books, I love writing, reading and imagination.  When I was little I decided I wanted to grow up to be the Science Officer of the Starship Enterprise C class.  When I was in middle school I was already fascinated with technology and sci-fi.  I would read everything I could get my hands on.  When Star Wars came to the big screen that was it, I knew I had to work with robots, then came War Games, then Tron and before I knew it, I was going to college to be a programmer.  I grew up when Women’s Lib was starting to roar loudly and sending the mixed messages.  I went to college when I was one of the very few women in data processing.  It was scary, but it was exciting.

My Grandma, was always encouraging, but warned me about false paths.  The yellow brick roads in life.  You know the ones; they have the bright jewel encased castles and grand ballrooms, but really they are ran by deception, the fake behind the curtain.  I fell into that trap.  I fought and fought for “independence”, which ended up trapping me in a world that was cold, lonely and very, very frightening.  I remember, crying to my Grandma shortly before she became ill with Alzheimer’s, that it wasn’t fair.  Life should come with instructions.  I remember very clearly what she told me, and it haunted me for years.  Her answer was; “It does, and I handed them to you a long time ago.”  She was referring to the Bible she had given me in High School.  I have grown up in church, but to be honest, I never read that Bible.  Throughout time, it became lost, even more so than me.  It took an angel, my husband Bob, to bring me home and turn my life around.

Deep inside, I always longed to be just a wife and a mom.  My choices prevented me from having that life.  Too many times I listened to the lies of the world and people who were not firm in faith to believe that I needed to push for success outside of the home, to make more money, to obtain more paper certifications, to obtain more education.  More, more, more.  I’ve always had a “giving” personality, but that became twisted and distorted by the life I chose.  I took the burden of “doing it myself” and believing in the “I am Woman” chant.  The truth was, my heart was breaking the entire time.  I longed to be with my children, I was happiest baking cookies and pies for the neighborhood kids and my kids.  I loved cooking for friends or families that needed help, even though we were having difficulty rubbing two pennies together ourselves.

Now, here we are today.  It hasn’t been a perfect or even a complete transition, but I have finally found my way back to that path.  My loving husband is strong in his faith, he keeps me centered and balanced and keeps me focused on “reading the instructions”.  No, he’s not my original husband, he is not the father of my children, but he is the angel that lead me home.  I know I’m broken.  I’ve found though, that God uses the most broken for his greatest challenges.

A few weeks ago while visiting with friends, I heard the words come out of my mouth.  “Please, think this choice through, don’t make the mistake I made.”  It was in reference to a friend taking a job that would take more of her time.  Totally opposite to who I was even a year ago, proudly boasting of my successes as a programmer.  Careers are those emerald castles, but in all honesty, there is no place like home.

I have been on a journey to better understand who God intended me to be.  I am grateful for my talents which have benefited me and my husband with my job outside of the home for income.  But now, I don’t look at it as my job, my career, my goals.  This job helps me help my husband, its not all about me and what I want.  This job is a tool, it isn’t my life.  My greatest joy is my husband and my home and my children and my ‘children-by-choice’, family that aren’t by blood by have been drawn to us, or us to them.  I understand now that I am my husband’s helper, his partner on this journey.

When my husband and I bought our little house in the little woods, or as I call it, our homestead.  Happiness and hard work followed.  The hard work created more happiness.  We started truly living what we believed and cherished.  We laugh and cry together and we hold on to each other closely.  We encourage each other, and even when we disagree, we respect each other.  I love cooking, gardening and living simple.  I love that I am no longer a slave to the world.   I still work outside of the home, but it is with joy and not as a burden.  I feel more and more a draw to the instructions my Grandma gave me when I was younger.  When I don’t know what to do, I open those instructions and read them.  A lot of the times, it causes me to reflect on the bad choices I’ve made in the past, sometimes I feel like a brat and my inside voice is whining “but I don’t wanna!”, in the end though, I take comfort in knowing that even though I don’t always understand, I can see the correct path and work my way to it and to stay on it.

So take it for what it’s worth from this older woman, who has gotten lost, found the wrong paths, chased after imaginary treasures, wondered in labyrinths filled with monsters, and finally found her way home.

  • Before saddling yourself with a burden of student loan debt, DON’T.  Just don’t.  Pay as you go for your education and don’t go in debt for it.  Use your talents for good.  You don’t need an expensive piece of paper to be happy.
  • Don’t become a slave to a career or to debt.
  • Choose your husband wisely.  Lust, passion and money fade away; Love, respect and honor grow stronger.
  • Your children are your legacy, nothing is more important than your relationship with your husband and your children.
  • Learn to help your husband, not hinder.  You are in the same boat together, fight  together, back to back and side by side.
  • Put God first, keep your faith strong and don’t listen to the lies of the world.
  • Most of all Pray, don’t nag.

Until Next Time,

Mrs. Kay Rice

 

 

The Secret to Happiness

There is one simple step that I have found that leads to happiness.  Acknowledge that happiness does not rely on a person, place, thing or even a circumstance.  It depends on your choice.  Yup, its that simple.  It all depends on how you look at everything, how you react to situations and people.

It seems more and more the ‘world’ pushes that happiness can only be gained by being tied to things, people, position and money.  Prestige and placement in life are preached to our children so heavily at a young age that it’s no wonder we are seeing so much depression and and stress in our youngins.  The constant flood of being plugged in is always screaming at us what the world says we have to be, have to do, have to go.  It’s time to turn it off.  School is important but college is not a necessity.  There is nothing wrong with having a career based on skill and talents, working with your hands or with the land.  Technology has its uses, but more often than not, it seems to have more misuses.

Here are some basic rules for embracing the now, for finding happiness.

  • Live well beneath your means.
  • Don’t give away what you can’t give at home.
  • Return everything you borrow.
  • Serve with your talents and your heart, not out of obligation or guilt.
  • Stop blaming other people for your bad choices.
  • Pray Daily (sometimes every second if need be).
  • Have daily walks and talk with God.
  • Admit it when you make a mistake.
  • Give unworn clothes to charity.
  • Give outsized clothes to charity.
  • Do something nice for a total stranger (and don’t post it on social media).
  • Listen more; talk less.
  • Find a reason to be outside.
  • Strive for excellence, but not perfection.
  • Be on time.
  • Don’t make excuses.
  • Organize your day in the morning.
  • Don’t argue or insist on being right or having the last word.
  • Be kind to unkind people.
  • Let someone ahead of you in line.
  • Take time to be alone with God.
  • Always incorporate good manners.
  • Don’t lie.
  • Be humble.
  • Realize and accept that life is not fair, but it is all in God’s plan.
  • Enjoy your time for rest and sleep.
  • Know when to keep your mouth shut.
  • Practice not criticizing others.
  • Turn the TV/Computer/phone off.
  • Learn from the past.
  • Live every day to its fullest.
  • Always give a kind word.
  • Make due with what you have.
  • Focus on the good, not the bad.

Happiness is how you view your life.  I like to tell people that every day is a good day as long as I wake up and my feet hit the floor and my face doesn’t.  I figure that leaves the rest of the day wide open for great things to happen.

Until Next Time,

Mrs. Kay L. Rice

 

Budgeting 101: An Honorable Responsibility

All members of a household hold a responsibility to be financially reliable.  But for a wife, it is crucial. One of my very favorite scriptures is Proverbs 31:10-31 and it lays it out very clear on what we are to do as the woman of the household.

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Proverbs 31:10-31New International Version (NIV)
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

What does this have to do with budgeting?  Well, it pretty much puts it right there in black and white, we are to manage our households.  Not by wasting, being lazy, nagging, passing blame or wasting away funds on frivolous things, or adorning ourselves in the latest of fashions.

This is a pretty big responsibility over all, if you think about it.  The world tells us all these pretty little lies to get us to spend when in reality, we are to be mindful and manage wisely.  Our beauty comes from within and from honest work and care and wisdom.

Here are some things to be aware of and put into practice:

  • Think first, never impulsively.  Is the item a Want or is it a Need?
  • If it is a need, what is the priority?  Be honest, talk about it with your spouse or accountability partner.
  • Save that change.  I use an old coffee can that I throw my pennies and change in, it does add up!  (Plus I use it for weekly egg money to pick up our fresh eggs.)
  • Plan your meals!!!!  It really doesn’t take long, meal prepping will become a habit in no time.
    • Plan at least 2 weeks in advance work your way up to a month at a time.
    • Cut down on quick runs to the grocery store.
    • Meal Prep
  • Buy in bulk in season and learn to freeze, can and dry food.
  • USE COUPONS!  Now days it’s fairly easy to use apps on your phones.  My favorite is ibotta!
    • Go to https://ibotta.com/
    • Download the app for your phone.
    • Feel free to use my referral code: phjhroe
    • Earn cash that you can put in your account from coupons, and shopping you have to do.
  • Resale!  Whether buying or downsizing!  Use the MarketPlace app on Facebook or go to your local resale shop!
  • Plan a No Spend Month!  I will be writing more on this in the future.
  • Choose to fix meals at home instead of eating at restaurants or fast food.  Your body and your wallet will thank you!
  • You don’t need a gym!!! Find activities that keep you active that you enjoy! Walk, bike, fish, garden… you get the idea.
  • Buy Local and find your local farmer’s markets.  You are helping them, they are helping you.
  • Use your talents to bring in extra money.  I love etsy.com!  Do you cook? Crochet? Knit? Sew? Write? Garden?
  • Cut the cable cord!  There are many ways you can spend your time without the TV, but if you do need it, antennas and internet can fill that void.  In the meantime, enjoy a board game with your spouse and or kids.
  • Make it a goal to be “God Sufficient”.  Meaning, don’t put the priorities of the world before the priorities of the Lord.
  • Most of all, pass these down to your children and your children’s children.  Give them the wisdom of how to budget and be responsible to avoid the pitfalls of being foolish.

Until Next Time,

Mrs. Kay L. Rice